Most days I feel like a fraud.
I wake up with the intention of living my day focused, driven, and completely fulfilled by the end of the day.
I dream of living in a reality where no one outside of me, not their actions, attitude, nor judgement, impacts my sense of safety nor the sacred balance of my inner world.
One where I am deeply connected to my inner being.
One where I am fully present and can confidently fulfill every emotional, mental, spiritual and physical need.
But the truth is, more often than not, I wake up feeling out of sorts, uncomfortable in my own skin, imbalanced in my daily tasks, overwhelmed by the fluctuation and rhythm of my moods, and by the end of the day I end up feeling like a complete and utter failure.
Often, I fall prey to the delusion that I must be perfect. Have the perfect conscious reaction.
Achieve the perfect embodiment of who I am supposed to be and those days… most days… when I don’t measure up to this false sense of embodiment I have immortalized or honored the standards I have set for myself…
I thrust myself deeply into self-judgement and shame.
The thing is that this person I have been idolizing on this ‘phantom mantel’ of who I am supposed to be never exist.
She has never existed.
And when all seems overwhelming and I am crippled with exhaustion at the daily task of self-perfection...
It is in those moments I am reminded to go inward.
To seek refuge in the sacred place I call home.
The place where there is no judgement but only love.
The place where I am seen fully for all of who and what I am.
It is in this sacred place of my soul that I and my inner being converge.
Where she and I are one.
Safe. Strong. Resilient.
Allow me to share something with you…
Life is not about the accomplishment of perfection or fulfillment of goals.
Life is about finding inner strength in moments of weakness and perseverance in circumstances which cripple you and break you.
It is about getting back up when your foundation has crumbled and when your inner balance has shifted and feels compromised.
It is about finding the strength to give yourself compassion for your condition in your moments of deep vulnerability and pain.
Life is not about the steps of the process, or the how’s, nor in the unfolding of the details…
But it is about the rhythm your soul dances to in moments of inner conflict and disconnection to your inner being.
And it is about learning to see through the reflection you witness in your shifting of cycles in your seasons of change.
So, if you too judge yourself too harshly…
Learn to go inward.
Learn to find inner peace in moments of chaos.
Learn to love your reflection of who you are in that moment...
And above all else… learn to love the one that judges.
Live Powerfully my siStars 💫✨